Those 5th Graders!

This morning I attended a festival for classroom music teachers in my county.  It was my first time going to this particular festival, mostly because I haven't taught younger grades before. I'll be honest and say that I'm never all that excited to go to these things. HOWEVER, I always leave with new ideas, and that's all that really matters. Getting new ideas and staying fresh with teaching is so important. I feel like I can never have enough new lessons, games, resources, etc.

It's always inspiring watching teachers who just make it look so easy. I get way too focused on myself when I teach - what am I doing, what do I look like, what could I  do better? Not that these are bad things, but I feel like it takes away from the kids! I put so much pressure on myself and am constantly analyzing myself that I might be thinking about myself more than the kids in front of me.  I think I just need to have more FUN and also not be afraid to try certain things. I've shied away from singing with my 5th graders, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it needs to happen. Even though I only see them for a short time, if I want to improve on the kid's reading skills, that's the best way I know how. It's also something I (obviously) feel comfortable doing myself. What I want to do is make sure I present it to the kids in the right way - that singing is just what we do in my class. I think the best way to start this next term is to incorporate it into warm-up activities, which I was already going to do.

I'd really like to see what others do with their 5th graders. My particular situation is different from most of my teacher friends in that I see the kids every day for 8 weeks and then I don't see them until next year. Many people have the kids from kindergarten through 5th - sometimes through 4th. Regardless, I'd like to spend some more time learning what other people are doing with their 5th graders. How much will 5th graders be willing to do as far as singing, dancing, etc.? What about instruments?  I know it always depends on the group, but I'd still love to know more from my colleagues (which is generally the idea behind this blog). :)

As always, please comment! If you have trouble, you can always just comment anonymously. I also know those "prove you're not a robot" detector thingies can be really annoying. :)

Assessment

I need to get better about assessing my students on a regular basis. We had a faculty meeting recently and many of the teachers had so many insightful things to say about grades, assessments, rubrics, expectations, and as per usual it made me feel inadequate as a teacher! I'm not great when it comes to giving feedback and grades - which is not good! So I want to go into next term with as many rubrics and assessments ready as possible (which is the week after next - yikes!) I think it will help me keep track of student progress as well as keep students accountable and understand what is expected of them. I need to this for all of my classes.

On another note, I hate Tuesdays. I teach three 84 minute blocks plus two short Chorus rehearsals plus another 42 minute class. Especially on a rainy day...yuck. Exhausting.

On yet another note, I really need to work on making my choral rehearsals more fun. There are many excuses I could make about what's wrong with the schedule and behavior but really when it comes down to it, I need to make things more fun and also more meaningful. My kids are just not reading music at all and spending too much time talking. I wish they walked in the door with the incentive to want to sing better and put all of their personal things aside, but they don't. If I don't keep their attention non-stop, it's all over. I just want to have things ready to keep their attention and make them want to stop talking to their friend and pay attention. I know it will take time, but blech...I just want it to be better now!

A typical Friday night...

Here I am on a rockin' Saturday night, wearing my favorite penguin fleece pajama pants and new favorite hoodie from school. I could not be any cooler.

I've noticed an unfortunate trend in my life that's probably been going on for years.  It seems that every week, I start out feeling relaxed, hopeful and even refreshed to conquer a new week of teaching...

...yet by Friday, I'm generally exhausted, cranky and spend most of the evening thinking about how all of my lessons went that week and everything that didn't go well and all of my weaknesses as a teacher. Like to the point where I really question if I'm doing the right thing with my life and whether or not I should find a new job and let someone else take over who would do better.

Not too fun.

I would love to have a week where I feel the majority of things went well. Perhaps after many years of teaching, this may happen. Who knows? I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

I think my main problem is that I lack confidence, particularly when it comes to dealing with conflict. For instance, it takes a LOT for me to approach a kid in the hall and ask them why they didn't come to rehearsal that day. It takes a LOT for me to sit and have a serious talk with a student about a problem. It's like, I often am aware of what or who is causing the problem, but I am not always sure how to fix it nor am I willing to step out of my comfort zone to make whatever changes are necessary.

I HAVE gotten better about calling parents...so that's good. I used to be absolutely terrified to call parents, but it's getting easier, probably because I've done it a few times now.

I guess that's always what it comes down to...just forcing myself to do something and it'll eventually get easier. At least I hope that's the way.

I also wish I was a better "salesman". I mean so much of teaching is getting the kids to buy into what you're selling/teaching.  I wish I knew how to get kids to take ownership and be more self-motivated, particularly in Chorus.  I wish they were more interested in singing their parts and learning about their voices than talking to their friend next to them. I've always hoped that kids will eventually catch on and how realize how cool singing and music are, but it seems at the middle school level there has to be more fear involved.

Again, I think that over time I will figure these things out, but it's SOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating to not be there yet. I think about my students and feel guilty that they're not getting to work with a seasoned teacher. I feel like they could get so much more out of their classes if they had a teacher who was more experienced, more strict and more confident.

Blech.

And tomorrow I have to go to school anyway, so I'm planning on getting all kinds of things done. I need like 17 more hours in the day, and then I might actually feel completely prepared for the day. But probably not...

p.s. I promise I'll blog about positive things once in awhile.  I just don't feel the need to sit and write about things when I'm feeling good.